Afraid of Sex

Certain families never mention or notice anything sexual. That is a way to deny sex. Adults brought up this way will later deny sex through remarks as 'sex isn't everything" or "I can't see anything special in sex ". Some of them so unconsciously behave to the point of deny the very existence of sex and sexual pleasure. There may lead to impotency or Vaginism. In other words, painful sexual relations caused by spasms of surrounding muscles of the vagina entrance.

Other families try to suppress sexual intents alleging that such deeds are dirty, much as any interest towards bodily excretions is considered as being "something dirty".

For many in our society, "dirt is synonymous of sex". Children educated this way grow up with the idea that feeling sexual pleasure is something impure.

When knowledge about venereal diseases is of later acquisition, those people may develop phobia of sexual diseases as a way of expressing somewhat restrictions to sexual activity. Or else, as depressive and punitive belief that sexually transmitted disease means punishment for some sexual affair. Another castrating belief is to compare semen and vaginal fluid to excretions. To do so hampering any form of oral sex due to such unconscious mismatching.

Religious families often emphasize the unrighteousness in sex, which offends to God.

Whom "certainly" will spread his wrath in form of castigation and punishment for any interest in such issues. Some fathers teach their kids that sex and sexual expression are shameful things. Boys and girls are vulnerable to this sort of lecture, since dependant on affection of their parents.

As adults, these individuals may end up so ashamed that won't be able even to admit that someone touches or look at their sexual organs. Or still, won't be able to bear sexually linked thoughts, to feel sexually aroused or desire sexual relations.

A direct punishment, of psychic or cultural nature, stems a fearsome attitude regarding sex. Certain people show signs of fear as soon as getting sexually aroused. They may turn as agitated as tense with oncoming orgasm that it simply doesn't take place.

In our macho culture, girls are more repressed than boys, receiving a string of behavioral precepts, saying how "a good girl" should behave. When grown ups, even if they might believe having set themselves free from such nonsense, a great many of them wind up by changing their sexual behavior with aims of blending in such standards.

At different levels, women become inhibited even within the marriage context, as to how expose their bodies freely; take initiative, participating at will of foreplay in sexual activities or masturbatory.

It's difficult to impede conservative parents and traditional families that repress the youth's sexual desire. That certainly will lead to the existence of adults afraid of sex. As for them, or those still young, to find out that their sexual impulse is limited due to familial restrictions lived up in youth, is already a step towards getting on top of fear regarding sex.

By Jonatas Dornelles
Anthropologist